My Kids are Adopted and it's No Big Deal!
photo credit to Cb Studio Photography
November is National Adoption
Month. As a professional that talks with families every day about adoption,
this month is on my radar. As a mother to adopted kids, it really hasn’t been.
Why? Don’t I want to honor our family’s uniqueness? How can I ignore this HUGE
part of what makes our family what it is?
It’s been 9 years since our last
adoption. We’ve settled in as a family. We still have a lot of open dialogue
about birth families and about race and culture. But that is our family’s
normal. That word sends a little tingle of
something up my spine. Normal! Once upon a time I didn’t know if we would
ever feel ‘normal’.
When my kids were small, we were
stopped in stores and in parking lots by people with questions. They wanted to
know where my kids were from; they wanted to know if any of them were
biological siblings. Some people just smiled and said things like “my family
looks like your family”. Some people just wanted to tell me how beautiful my
children are. But it all pointed to the fact that we were different; we were
noticeable.
Fast forward 10 years. We’ve
settled in. We’re old news. We are just a family. We have our share of
struggles just like any other family and we have our share of triumphs just
like any other family. We never get stopped in the grocery store anymore, and I
can’t remember the last time anyone asked me where I ‘got’ my kids. Sometimes
we forget that we don’t look the same, and a lot of the time we forget that our
family is any different than anyone else’s.
For many
years during National Adoption Month I made sure to use social media to spread awareness about how wonderful
adoption can be. This year I am just quietly celebrating how ‘normal’ adoption
can be. So please forgive my lack of Adoption Month fanfare. This month I am
just enjoying the fact that my kids are adopted and it’s no big deal.
Jennie, I love this. I was able to reconnect with my birth family 3 years ago (it feels like ive never not had them around though), and when i talk about them its just my mom, my sister, my nana...my whoever. it doesn't dawn on me that its my biological whatever. they are just my family. the only time i get almost tongue tied about it is when i have to explain why i have 2 moms and didn't grow up with those siblings...or other things like. but its because most people can't wrap their heads around it. not because its not normal to me. its totally normal to me. My family is different, but it doesn't feel that way. its just my family.
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